People in our society, especially those of the male persuasion,
have a fascination with breasts.
Especially naked breasts.
If women walked around naked all the time,
western civilization would come to a grinding halt.
Nothing would get done!
All the men would be too busy nudging each other and winking
and bumping into everything.
They’d be so busy gawking, the workplace would be in a shambles.
To men, naked breasts are like the Seven Wonders of the World.
They’re breathtaking! They’re exotic!
They’re better than the Pyramids at Gisa
They’ve never seen anything like them!
Every time a man sees naked breasts he’s completely amazed,
“Oh wow! Is that what they look like… I can’t believe it!
They’re just like I pictured them…only better!”
Men also talk about breasts every chance they get with their friends.
But they do it in a kind of code.
They make up other names for breasts, to be able to
cope with their embarrassment over talking about them.
They give them labels like 'hooters' and 'melons' and 'jugs' and 'tits'.
The word ‘breasts’ is just too overwhelming for most men to say.
Men will do almost anything to sneak a peek at breasts.
There is a whole magazine industry built on men looking at them.
They do this in private, on the toilet for instance.
Men can get really carried away with thinking about them.
It’s not too surprising then that there are laws
about the baring of breasts in public.
When a woman goes to a beach in North America,
she is strictly forbidden to show her breasts.
You can’t get any sun on them at all.
The men can walk around topless but not the women.
Men are far too fragile to witness that sort of exposure.
A topless woman revealing a nipple might cause some kind of revolution.
All the men on the beach would start salivating and
going into breast overload.
They might start tearing each other to pieces trying to get a good look!
“No! I saw them first!"
"Get away from them! They’re mine!"
"Where the hell are my binoculars?”
I suppose they just can’t help themselves.
At the beach in Cape Cod, Maine, they are really breast fanatics.
They have police on horseback that come
thundering over the dunes like the Lone Ranger.
Their job is to try to catch offending women in the act of breast exposure.
If they see you with your top off, they give you a two hundred-dollar fine.
That’s one hundred dollars a boob!
It’s like you have double-parked in a no boob zone.
I was on the beach down there with a friend of mine
who recently had a mastectomy.
We were talking about all of this, and whether or not to risk going topless.
“Well,” my friend commented dryly,
“A mastectomy isn’t good for much else,
but I’ll probably only have to pay half the fine if I’m caught.”
I thought this was a pretty brave statement….
And I’d say it pretty much sums up Western Morality doesn’t it?